Obits where dead women tell their tales (2024)

We are coming to the end of San Diego Women’s Week and National Women’s History Month, but the parade of pioneers marches on.

On Wednesday, Sen. Toni Atkins, D-San Diego, was making history in Sacramento when she took over as California Senate president pro tempore and became the first woman and first openly gay Senate leader in the state’s history.

On Friday, such notable locals as psychologist, author and Auschwitz survivor Edith Eger; Angel Faces founder and People magazine Hero of the Week Lesia Cartelli; and San Diego District Attorney Summer Stephan will be among the speakers at the San Diego Women’s Week Leadership Conference at the Town and Country Resort & Convention Center.

And on April 13-15, the visions of female filmmakers will be in the spotlight with the Women’s Film Festival San Diego.

Then there are the national and international voices of groundbreaking women who are now speaking to us from the great beyond. Better late than not at all.

They are the women of the New York Times’ “Overlooked” project, which is attempting to make up for many decades of historical and journalistic neglect by publishing belated obituaries of groundbreaking women whose deaths were not marked in the 167-year-old newspaper’s obit pages.

The list of the overlooked is long and infuriating. It includes such renowned figures as “Jane Eyre” author Charlotte Brontë, pivotal women of color such as journalist Ida B. Wells, and trailblazers like 1840s mathematician Ada Lovelace,now considered to be the world’s first computer programmer.

Do these tardy tributes make up for the fact that in the allegedly enlightened 2017, the Times’ obit gender mix was still a lopsided 80 percent men and 20 percent women?

No. But it’s a start.

The “Overlooked” project was developed by Times gender editor Jessica Bennett and Amisha Padnani, who joined the paper’s obituaries desk as a digital editor in 2017. While Padnani was researching an obituary for a woman in the tennis world, she came across a story about Mary Ewing Outerbridge, who was credited with introducing tennis to America. When Outerbridge died in 1886, her passing was not marked in the newspaper.

It’s been marked now. On March 8, in honor of International Women’s Day, the Times launched “Overlooked” with a collection of 15 obituaries of literary giants, civil-rights icons, and boundary-pushing artists, all of whom fell through the tribute cracks because they were women.

The paper will be adding new obits on a weekly basis, and it will expand to include people from other overlooked populations.

Posterity-wise, the good news is that many of these noteworthy women are being valued now. Reading-wise, the great news is that they were not just amazing women, but fascinating people. Their stories would be a total treat even if they were not also high in historical fiber.

There was Marsha P. Johnson, an activist, prostitute and drag performer in Greenwich Village during the turbulent pre- and post-Stonewall late 1960s and ’70s and into the Gay Pride-fueled ’80s. She was a devout Christian and an AIDS activist who was photographed by Andy Warhol and admired by the young transgender people for whom she was an advocate, role model and parental figure.

Johnson died in 1992 under murky circ*mstances, but the “Overlooked” obit is full of vibrant life.

You probably know of poet Sylvia Plath, whose short life and tragic death by suicide have been chronicled in many term papers and biographies. But the new, much-deserved obituary is a perfectly calibrated mix of biography, criticism (“I like to think she somehow helped to open up and legitimate female anger,” author and Plath expert Gail Crowther says), and pop-culture nuggets. (Plath was once name-checked on “The Simpsons.”)

And the stories keep rolling on. The cancer cells that were taken from Henrietta Lacks without her permission became the most widely used human cell line in biology. Ida B. Wells did some of the earliest reporting on lynching, and she helped found the NAACP. The aforementioned Ada Lovelace — who died in 1852 — was so prescient about the potential of computers, the Defense Department named a programming language after her.

“Sun and moon have no light left, earth is dark,” poet and “Overlooked” subject Qiu Jin wrote in 1904. “Our women’s world is sunk so deep, who can help us?”

Through these tributes, the helping hands of our foremothers are reaching out with a grip that could throttle the patriarchy. I wouldn’t mind reading that obituary, either.

videoTwitter: @karla_peterson

karla.peterson@sduniontribune.com

Obits where dead women tell their tales (2024)

FAQs

What should you not include in an obituary? ›

In most cases, obituaries do not include the names or nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, or in-laws unless they were close to the deceased. Grandchildren are sometimes listed but often numbered instead (…he leaves behind 5 grandchildren).

Are ex-wives mentioned in obituaries? ›

If the deceased was divorced, it can be worth it to include this information in the obituary, especially if they were close afterwards or had children. The obituary should list the names of the ex-spouses as well as any children from those marriages.

Should an ex-spouse attend a funeral? ›

If a person's presence will be comforting to the bereaved family, then they should attend. If a person's presence will be hurtful to the bereaved family, they should not go.

What is an example of a mother in an obituary? ›

Obituary Examples: For Mothers

Our dear mother [full name] sadly passed away on [date of death], at the age of [age]. She was a wonderful mother who was always there when we needed her the most, offering support, wisdom, and love in abundance.

What is the proper way to list family members in an obituary? ›

  1. Survived by (and place of residence): Spouse. Children (in order of date of birth, and their spouses) Grandchildren / Great-grandchildren / Great-great-grandchildren. Parents / Grandparents. ...
  2. Predeceased by (and date of death): Spouse. Children (in order of date of birth) Grandchildren. Siblings (in order of date of birth)

What is proper etiquette for an obituary? ›

Jot down the key facts first

Even the most sensational obituaries should include key details about the person's life and death. First, you'll want to include the person's name, birth place, age, date of death, location and cause of death (optional).

What is proper etiquette when an ex-spouse dies? ›

Should you still speak with your ex-spouse's family, it would be appropriate to extend your condolences. However, if your presence in the services will ruffle some feathers, it would be better to express sympathies from a distance. Sending funeral flowers and cards will suffice.

What should an ex-wife wear to a funeral? ›

The appropriate attire for a funeral or memorial service is simple: dress to show respect for the person whose life you are remembering. This means selecting clothes that are more conservative, not flashy or brightly colored.

Should a wife speak at her husband funeral? ›

There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.

What should a daughter say at her mother's funeral? ›

It is an honour to stand before you and share my precious memories of my mother. She will be missed by all, but her memory will live on in us all forever. I love you so much, Mum, and will miss you more than words can say.

What is a good sentence for obituary? ›

[Full Name], aged [age of the deceased], passed away peacefully on [date of death], at [location of death]. He/she was born on [date of birth], in [birthplace], to [names of parents]. He/she was a proud resident of [city of residence] and was a 1975 graduate of Holy Cross High School.

What is a good eulogy for a mother? ›

A eulogy example for your mother might go something like this: “To those of you who had the pleasure of knowing my mother, Lisa, you'll remember how supportive she was to everyone she met. Even if you were a stranger, she'd instantly become your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you to succeed.

What should I exclude from an obituary? ›

Obituaries should not be written in the first person. This means you should not use "I" language. Remember that an obituary is not a personal tribute, like a sympathy card or condolence letter. You should also exclude personal addresses and phone numbers.

Should you include the date of birth in an obituary? ›

Including the Basics

If your loved one was a married woman, you'll want to include her maiden name as well. Other essential details to include when writing either a death notice or an obituary are: Birthdate and death date.

Why would someone not write an obituary? ›

Some may feel that it is too personal or private to share with the public, while others may not have the financial means to pay for its publication. Additionally, some families may prefer to grieve privately and not draw attention to the death.

What is the proper format for an obituary? ›

What to include in an obituary
  • the name of the deceased and their photo.
  • the date they died and their age at that time.
  • their family members (for example, a partner or children)
  • funeral or memorial details (date, time, and location)
  • flower or donation information.
Jul 11, 2022

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